The Christmas of 2010 was one of the hardest seasons my family and I ever faced. My mom had been battling cancer for several years, and in early October, it came back aggressively. On October 28, 2010, she passed away peacefully in her sleep. There was no Hospice care, no warning beyond the illness itself. One moment she was with us, and the next, she was gone.
Katie and I had four young children who absolutely adored their Mamaw. I remember gathering them at a park near our house to break the devastating news. My dad, who had been her constant caregiver—through every treatment, every appointment, even a stem cell transplant—was now without the love of his life. I had to make the heartbreaking call to my sister to tell her what had happened. Everything felt like a blur, like it was happening to someone else. I was numb.
In the days that followed, Thanksgiving came and went, and before we knew it, it was December. I wasn’t ready to face the holidays without my mom. When I look back at photos from that time, I see blank expressions on all our faces. We were physically there, but emotionally, we were somewhere else entirely.
I share this with you because I know that’s where some of us are right now as Christmas approaches. Maybe you’re dealing with loss, navigating crises, or carrying hurt that feels impossible to bear. It’s so easy to feel isolated, but I want you to know this: you are not alone.
God is with you.
Even if you don’t feel it, even if you can’t see it, He is close to you.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Christmas is the ultimate reminder of this truth. In Jesus, God came near to us—into our pain, our brokenness, and our mess.
“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). Matthew 1:23
When my mom passed away, I had already been in ministry for ten years. I thought I understood pain and loss, but it wasn’t until that season that I truly experienced it. That December, I had the opportunity to preach at our church. I shared openly about the hurt, the loss, and the struggle of facing Christmas in the midst of grief.
In all my years of ministry, I’ve never had more people connect with a single message. So many shared that they felt seen because I had put into words what they were experiencing. They too were facing a Christmas that was hard to celebrate—because someone was missing or something had changed.
In that moment, I learned that we are never truly alone. God walks with us in our pain and mess, and He also surrounds us with others who are walking through life’s challenges. By sharing my grief, I found a community of people who walked beside me.
That Christmas, we chose to keep going. On Christmas Eve, we gathered at my dad’s house, just as we would have if Mom were still with us. My sister and her husband joined us. We cooked the same dishes, Dad decorated the house, and we celebrated. It was bittersweet—there were tears, but there was also laughter. And though her absence was deeply felt, we made the choice to gather. That tradition continues every year.
We’ve also found ways to honor Mom’s memory. She loved the beach, so every summer my family takes a trip to remember her love for it—and for us. Over time, we’ve created new traditions, blending them with the old. My dad and sister now join Katie’s family for Thanksgiving and Easter, weaving our lives together in new and meaningful ways.
Here’s what I’ve learned: pain and grief don’t have to hold us down. Christmas isn’t just about celebrating the birth of a child—it’s about celebrating the hope and promise that child brings. Jesus came to conquer death and bring us life. He came to bring hope.
So this Christmas, my prayer for you is that Jesus fills you with hope. Hope that shines through the pain, loss, and loneliness. Hope that reminds you: you are not alone, and God is with you.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
Kevin
Kevin Smith
Colerain Campus Pastor